Fact: A 1991 Gallup survey indicated that 49 percent of Americans didn't know that white bread is made from wheat.

What I took from this: Gallup must mean "Jihad" in English because nothing undermines an American's resolve than hard evidence that he is surrounded by idiots.

Fact: Hindus acknowledge six seasons: spring, summer, the rains, autumn, winters, and the dews.

What I took from this: Spiritual Enlightenment must make you blind. How the hell can they forget the earthquake, the typhoon, the plague, the monkey invasion and the train wreck?

Fact: In Somalia, the Somali language did not become a written language until 1972.

What I took from this: No wonder the rest of the world hates the west. Despite what I am sure were the best of intentions, in one clean stroke the west managed to bring Somalia out of the ancient world but at the cost of making them all illiterates.

Fact: In the eighteenth century alone, smallpox killed sixty million Europeans.

What I took from this: ...al-Qaeda bastards.

Fact: In the French court of Louis XI, the fine ladies lived mainly on soup because they believed that excessive chewing would cause them to develop premature facial wrinkles.

What I took from this: Hey, whatever works. By the 15th century the French knew that you don't tell a woman that she looks fat. You know she is fat. She knows she is fat. Tell them not to eat that extra piece of cake because from behind she's starting to look like a defensive lineman she is going to eat it anyway just to spite you, but tell her it is because all that continuous chewing is giving her facial wrinkles you might have a fighting chance.