You always hear about heroes.
You know the people who get cats down out of trees, help old ladies cross the street, disarm would be bank robbers and then sit on them until the authorities arrive.
What you never hear about are the real life super villains.
I am not talking about media manufactured villains like the heads of state of countries we don’t like or serial killers or common street thugs turned multi-million dollar rap acts.
I am talking about people that do crazy shit without a discernable rhyme or reason.
I mean do you really think anyone understands why the Joker makes his face up, dresses the way he does and kills people with Smilex gas?
I don’t think Joker has ever said the words, “and then I will rule the world!” and meant it.
He isn’t interested in ruling the world.
He doesn’t even want free cable.
Well Joseph Konopka, who is now looking at 21 years in prison, took the first step towards becoming a super villain when he adopted the name Dr. Chaos as his alter-ego.
The second step was when he appointed himself leader of the “Realm of Chaos” which was group he formed out of piss off kids in his neighborhood for the sole purpose of inflicting massive property damage.
Now if you were to ask me “what is Dr. Chaos’ origin?” I couldn’t tell ya. The only clue any of us have is what we can gather from his defense attorney who said during the trial that “he (Dr. Chaos) was not socialized in the way one would expect a child to be”, which I figure most of us could gather from the name he took for himself.
Prosecutors on the other hand painted Dr. Chaos out to be “a gifted young man who lacked common sense” which I can also buy just from the crimes that he did.
I mean you would have to lack common sense if you get caught trying to hide cyanide that you stole from an abandoned warehouse in a subway tunnel wouldn’t you?
In addition to being sentenced to 21 years in prison Dr. Chaos has also been ordered by U.S. District Judge Lynn Adelman to pay $435,000 in restitution to the victims of his crimes.
Apparently his gang was responsible for damaging everything from computers to power plants to radio and television towers.
He sold warez (pirated software downloaded from the internet), he disabled an air traffic control system, screwed with radio and television broadcasts, set places on fire and in more than 50 separate acts of vandalism knocked out power for more than 30,000 users causing more than $800,000 in damages.
And for what?
That my friends, is what you call a super villain.
Oh yeah, and good luck ever seeing a dime of that money.
Everyone knows that any extra money a super villain gets his hands on he blows it on his secret hideout.