RAW DOGMA written by Nkrumah Steward
|
|
| judo throw saves man from being mauled by
a bear |
Don't ask me why, maybe it's just baggage from when
I was younger and used to play role playing games like "Dungeons
and Dragons" and "Top Secret"
but I just assumed that martial arts wouldn't work on an animal.
Whenever my character came across a monster in "Dungeons
and Dragons", the words "Dungeon
master I will engage the beast in hand to hand combat"
never came out of my mouth.
I don't know how you guys played the game, I know we all kinda customized
the rules to how we wanted to play but no one I ever played with had
a +2 karate chop in any of their campaigns.
However, I did have a +2 war hammer so that was what I used.
Well it's a good thing that we all don't share all of the same assumptions
because Keiichi Yamaguchi, a 63-year-old man from Japan would be dead
right now had he assumed that martial arts wouldn't work on a bear.
That's right I said a bear.
And you know what? It doesn't matter how big or small the bear was
does it?
That bear could be blind and still covered in a placenta with its
mother pinned down underneath a fallen tree and I am not going to
fuck with it.
Apparently Mr. Yamaguchi was attacked by an Asiatic black bear while
he was picking mushrooms on a mountain in Omachi, Nagano Prefecture.
The bear had jumped out and surprised him. It had already managed
to bite him on the hand as well as the left thigh before Mr. Yamaguchi
gathered his wits, hit the bear in the nose with one of those open
hand thrusts, kicked it in the stomach and then when it was reeling
off balance did a judo throw hurling the bear to the ground.
The bear, while lying on its back began marinating in what had just
happened.
He just got his ass kicked by a 63-year-old man.
I thought all of that "tiger style",
"monkey style", "crane
kick", "cobra leap"
was negated when your opponent has 1500 pounds on you and teeth.
To be honest with you, I thought martial arts only worked on people
that were within your own weight class.
I am about 155 pounds. I figured at best I could probably get away
with fighting a guy 165 pounds.
That was about it. That's my limit.
They say that Jedi mind trick only works on the weak minded I am starting
to think that maybe the Jedi are selling themselves short. |
