RAW DOGMA written by Nkrumah Steward
|
|
| A Gang Of Baboons Jack Four Young Girls For Their Water Bottles |
Four young girls had the fight of their lives when
they were ambushed by a pack of 30 thirsty shit tossing baboons who
wanted to jack them for their water containers filled to the brim
with life sustaining aqua.
Evidently, it hasn't rained in the northern region of Kenya in so
long that lions, hyenas and even elephants are now sharing the same
boreholes with native Africans because fresh water is so scarce.
Normally I would say, don't worry, these are native Africans. Wildlife
doesn't attack them. Despite what you might think at first glance,
native Africans sharing a boreholes with lions, hyenas, elephants
probably resembles a scene from "The
Song of the South".
If a group of Europeans would've set up camp near that very same borehole
and if they had to share it with all of those wild animals, "the
company" would probably be sending marines into Kenya after about
six months to find out why they lost all communication with the colony.
And when they did arrive I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if
all they would find uneaten in the entire camp is Newt hiding under
one of those mud huts.
That is how things normally work around there however today was the
exception to the rule because apparently severe drought makes null-n-void
whatever "understanding"
native Africans have with the wildlife there.
Four young girls were in the middle of their seven-mile journey back
to their village after drawing water from a well in the Isiolo district
when 30 Baboons trying to jack them for their water ambushed them.
One girl, suffered cuts and bruises to her face as she tried to fend
off the Rafiki and his crew. One of her companions ended up getting
the clothes ripped up by baboon claws.
First of all, fuck walking seven miles for water...unarmed.
Secondly, fuck tussling it out with 30 angry Baboons. If they want
the water, fine. Let em' have it. We know where those monkeys stay
at.
I say fuck PETA. I say we take a page out of Ariel Sharon's book and
come back in the middle of the night and burn their tree down to the
fucking ground.
I know Africans aren't accustomed to being attacked by wild animals
but how exactly do thirty thirsty baboons just roll you without your
spider-sense tingling anyway?
I mean, isn't that why when you go to a developing country you hire
a native as your guide? If you just wanted to know where shit is you
could just go buy a map. You hire
Tiki because he is a native and is
supposed to have a native-sixth sense
about this kind of shit.
What am I missing? I swear, a gang of thirsty baboons better not ever
jump me when I visit Kenya. If I ever find myself sprinting back to
the jeep with a Baboon swiping at my heels Tiki should expect my check
to bounce.
That isn't racist either. I expect more from the indigenous people
that I do myself. He's from there. That is what indigenous means.
I could travel to Kenya with just my friends and we could get jumped
by Baboons all by ourselves without any help. All we would need is
a container of water and one wrong turn. Say a friend of mine invites
me to come visit him and he lives in South Central Los Angeles, I
better not get caught in a drive-by because I am wearing the wrong
color outfit. It should just go without saying that he is doubling
as my survival outfit coordinator during my stay. Kenya would be no
different. |
