For
those of you that are over 25-years of age and still virgins…do
you feel alone?
That's a silly question.
Of course you do.
As well you should.
You are alone.
Evidently, only about 2 percent of Americans over 25 haven't had sex.
A poll by Durex condoms shows only
2 percent of Americans over age 25 still haven't had sex, while the
majority of Americans "gave it up"
by the age 18.
Times have really changed haven't they?
25-year-old virgins and older can be placed in one of only a few categories.
Most virgins over the age of 25 spent a considerable amount of their
young adult lives in comas, on missionary retreats or in their basements
getting blisters on their thumbs playing PSII.
Now I am sure there are still some people out there that still expect
their wives or their husbands to be virgins when they get married
but chances are if you didn't meet your husband riding on top of a
flying carpet waiving a sword
over his head then he probably considers it a plus that you have at
least somesexual
experience.
Why would someone want to marry someone that looks at your privates
for the first time the way a bunch of middle school kids look at a
pig floating in a container of formaldehyde?
Let's be honest here, sex isn't the most hygienic recreational activity.
Some aspects of it might take a little time getting used to.
Who the fuck wants to spend their wedding night being a part time
motivational speaker and a part-time trauma councilor?
You can blame it on your religious beliefs. You can say that you're
just really picky. You can say you're looking for something deeper
than just sex.
You can say what you want. I am just asking you to be honest with
yourself.
Nowadays being within sight of 30 and still being a virgin basically
means that something is wrong with you.
Sorry.
Sex is one of those things that are best dealt with as soon as you
can.
Every single serial killer I have ever read about in my entire life
has had some fucked up issues regarding his sexuality.
Holding all that anxiety in will eventually make you crack.
So do us a favor as well as all of those prostitutes you are going
to end up strangling and dumping in the lake a favor and face up to
your fears.
I don't mean to add any more pressure to those of you that are still
virgins at 25 going on eternity, but if I were you, I would start
to panic.
They say that if you haven't started smoking cigarettes by the age
of 18 then statistically speaking you probably won't ever start smoking.
Well, I believe the same thing goes for getting laid… at least
by a consenting adult. Which brings me back to the serial killer point
I made earlier.
Here is something you probably haven't even thought about.
The longer you wait the less likely you are to get what you want or
handle what you get.
Let's say you go out and pick up some woman at a bar and she invites
you back to her place.
You have to deal with the unspoken expectation that she has that you
will know what the fuck you are doing.
When she walks you into her bedroom she is going to be geeked like
a little kid at Christmas.
Cut her some slack. How the fuck did she know that out of all of the
dudes in the bar she would catch a genuine two-percenter?
If she fucked 100 different dudes chances are she would only find
one other person like you.
So what do you think the chances are that you are going to wear her
ass out like she hopes you will.
That is what I thought.
Don't run. You are about to make your first big mistake. No, I am
not talking about what you are wearing. I am talking about the logic
you are employing to give you the confidence to go through with what
you are about to do.
Despite what you think porn is a horrible substitute for actual experience.
I don't give a damn how many porno films you have seen in your life
and I am sure 25-year-old virgins have seen a lot, nothing can prepare
you for fluids, the smells, and the tastes that you are about to be
expected to come in contact with.
I am sure it is a lot easier to deal with when the girl looks like
a porno star but the girl you are going to be with is going to have
about as much in common physically with a porno star as a zebra does
to a horse….and that's if your lucky.
When you are done "they" will be all over you.
That smell you couldn't really place at first will now fill the room.
That wet spot on the bed…someone is going to have to sleep in
it.
Oh yeah, and that taste in your mouth... that isn't coming out without
a toothbrush. That is why if you are waiting until you are sure that
you love him or her before you start to do all of this stuff--- I
can totally understand. You will inhale, taste, and digest substances
that are the basic ingredients of any credible chemical and biological
weapon program in the middle-east.
Loving the person you sleep with for the first time is a great substitute
for flat Coke or saltine crackers to settle your stomach.
Go get laid. It isn't worth the aggravation.
No
privacy rights for girl having sex in bathroom Now if they busted the stall open when
you were using the fucking bathroom for what it was intended for
maybe I would have some sympathy, but you were fucking in the toilet,
you are lucky someone didn't make a video.
American's
fuck more than anyone else on the planet. According to Durex SSL International,
Americans fuck more often, start fucking younger and with more partners
than any other nationality. God Bless America.
For
those of you that are over 25-years of age and still virgins…do
you feel 
