RAW DOGMA written by Nkrumah Steward
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| Porn Star Hopes To Lose 20 Pounds In 30 Days On All-Cum Diet |
 Brace yourself.
In the highly superficial world of porn
where stretch marks, yeast
infections and strange discolorations
on one's ass could be as career ending as a torn ACL for an
NFL linebacker, a little extra "jiggle
around the middle" isn't anything to laugh at.
If you let yourself go too long you might end up regulating yourself
to those "specialty" videos
if you know what I mean?
You know the one they keep behind the counter with the midgets blowing
the she-male with three testicles on the cover.
Yeah that one.
Like Tiffany Million so eloquently put it, "Women
in the adult industry have a very specific purpose. We are fantasies
for men. We are fodder for the imagination. And for most men the ideal
woman is built like a brick shit house."
Believe that.
So when a plump porn star named Kim Kelly
decided she needed to lose 10 to 20 pounds she decided to take the
road most likely to lead her to success.
She decided that she is going to go on a strict diet of splunk.
Yes, she is going to go on an all-semen
diet or as she prefers to call it, "man
juice".
She is looking at having about six "meals"
a day starting December 1.
So far more than 800 different men have offered to give her all the
"man juice" she can stomach
--- literally.
She is currently screening applicants thoroughly for sexually transmitted
disease.
Dude, I am all about a woman being enthusiastic about sucking dick.
In fact, I used to encourage it.
It's always a turn on to hear a woman say that she really loves to
suck a dick. But to actually attempt to lose 20 pounds by living off
a strict diet of "man milk" six meals a day takes me right
out of a state of whatever sexual arousal you might have put me in
and right into a state where I am half expecting Allen
Funt or Rod Serling to climb
out from under the bed.
Now I know that everything does truly have its limits.
Kelly says plans to drink plenty of banana smoothies in between her
regular meals because, in her words, "I'm
not going to kill myself for this."
For all of you women out there that might be thinking of also trying
Kelly's crash diet nutrition experts seem to agree that "ick"
is high in zinc and other nutrients,
however they shy away from coming anywhere near officially recommending
a daily allowance.
So you're on your own. |
