RAW DOGMA written by Nkrumah Steward
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| Evidence Indicates There is Water on Mars…Everywhere! |
 Mars has vast deposits of frozen water buried just one or two feet beneath its dusty red surface, boosting the possibility of life on the Red Planet and perhaps providing a source for drinking water and rocket fuel for future exploration, researchers report in this weeks journal Science.
Proof that water is common on Mars also strengthens speculation that the planet could harbor some microbial life forms. Water is considered essential for the evolution of life and some scientists believe they have evidence, from a Martian rock, that the planet once had life.
With science not being one of my strong suits I immediately figured if they found water on Mars then we can use it to drink, grow stuff, and flush toilets when we start to colonize.
NASA scientists are talking about splitting the water apart chemically, providing oxygen and hydrogen for rocket propellant.
They're so smart.
The trick apparently is getting someone in NASA a working calculator so the next time we send some shit up to Mars it won't burn up in the atmosphere because, "Uh, I guess we got too close to the planet before we turned on the Whatchamacallit"
Scientists have known for years that Mars was once covered with water. Mars has valleys, gullies and channels, characteristic marks of the flow of water. The big question was that how could a planet that was once covered in Oceans lose all of its water.
Fuck that.
The bigger question is how a planet that once had a breathable atmosphere could just lose it.
Fuck the water. if you don't want it to go anywhere bottle it. What the fuck happen to all the air!?
Side note A: I know what you're thinking and turning Mars into a prison colony is a bad idea. How the fuck do you think Soccer became the most popular sport in the world? Who wants a repeat of that?
No people this is our opportunity to start over fresh and do it right from scratch. So on that note all of you Jesus Freaks that think we shouldn't colonize Mars because if God wanted us to live on Mars he would've put Adam on Mars keep that thought and stay the fuck off.
If it was up to me (and you better hope that it never is) Mars would be a religion free zone. The last thing we need is someone bringing that Jihad shit over there too. Next thing we know we will have Jews wondering around looking for water saying that they own the place. Then Muslims will be trying to detonate dynamite on top of the face on Mars because it either A: looks too much like Muhammad or B: they think people might look at it and that would constitute idolatry.
No sooner than the Jews and the Muslims start fucking shit up you can bet that the Pope will reach under his robe and have his page boy hand him the book of old tried and true tricks to dominate the world. He will do like Pope Nicholas did when he directed King Alfonso V of Portugal to "capture, vanquish, and subdue the Saracens, pagans, and other enemies of Christ," to "put them into perpetual slavery," and "to take all their possessions and property." Effectively declaring war against all non-Christians throughout the world, and specifically sanctioning and promoting the conquest, colonization, and exploitation of non-Christian nations and their territories.
Won't that be nice? |
