Gay men in India cut their balls off and live in groups to gain more mobility in society. Although ostracized by Indian society, they are also revered and given greater freedom than most Indians experience. They make a living as bandits, scaring the shit out of people, kicking in apartment doors and demanding money.  The people of India say that Eunuchs have special powers and when they demand money, cannot be refused. I say people are just scared to death of any man with balls enough to cut his own balls off.  If the Eunuchs don’t get paid, they threaten to curse the family  and the child with whatever strand of stupidity drove them to castrate themselves.  Needless to say, the checks they get never bounce.

One of these modern day Eunuchs we interviewed claimed that he befriended a bunch of these  “Eunuchs” then they held him down one night and cut his balls off.  Afterwards,  he willingly joined their little group, after his wife and kids left him, (I guess they didn’t believe that line of shit either) and now he also terrorizes people at childbirths and weddings, dancing, and chanting and waving his seedless nut sack around for all to see.  Our correspondent in India reports to us that in the west, these men, most of whom are obvious flamers, would be stereotyped as homosexual; however, in India they are thought to be something else entirely.

I might be going out on a limb here but they are most likely pushed into re-categorizing them because even the most openly gay man in the west would have a hard time coming to grips with parting with his own balls.  Once again, we at the zoo promote the tolerance and understanding of the homosexual for no amount of societal prejudice should drive a man to cut his own balls off for social mobility.