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RAW DOGMA                                                                           written by Nkrumah Steward
7.9 Earthquake Hits India. No Surprise. Only 650 people Died! Now That Is News!

The earthquake struck as many cities in India were celebrating India's 51st Republic Day, which commemorates the adoption of the constitution. The temblor caused high-rise buildings to sway from New Delhi to Bombay, Madras and Calcutta, many hundreds of miles from the epicenter.

At 5:00 am the death toll was 500. By 10:00 am the death toll had risen to 650. They say it was the worst earthquake to hit India in 47 years. I actually take offense at that. That is too misleading. If anything, and I mean if anything, I don't care if it is a thunderstorm, hurricane, earthquake or an outbreak of athletes foot, if anything can be qualified as the worst thing to happen to India, automatically it qualifies as they worst thing to happen on the earth.

The earthquake was registered by the earthquake register people as a 7.9 magnitude quake. I don't know how to interpret that scale but considering that it happened in India, I am assuming that 7.9 is piss your pants horrible. Since this is India we are talking about I would also be tempted to assume that the 7.9 rating is on a scale of 1 to 6. I would probably be wrong in that assumption.

To further add insult to injury, an earthquake hit the United States at roughly the exact same time below Lake Erie, and as far as we know, not even a single fish got nauseous.

I am not bragging I am just trying to illustrate a point.

In my last article I pleaded to all the people of India to leave the cities and head for the hills when the marauding monkeys that took over the capital started leaving. I wanted them to use the monkeys as a sign of God's next big plague. Unfortunately, my plan wouldn't have done anyone any good anyhow. I was also wrong when I said that God wouldn't sacrifice a few monkeys just to kill another 1,000 Indians. Apparently he would, he did, and he will again.

God is going for broke.

If I were a betting man my money would be on by the time the super bowl kicks off on Sunday the body count will be over 1,000. I am not being insensitive here. I am actually on India's side in all of this. But let's be realistic here this is India; a hot asphalt parking lot could wipe out 500. If the body count stays below 1,000 I would be inclined to believe that they were actually prepared for this one. I say good for them.

Oops. I spoke too soon.

90 percent of the houses in Bhuj had been damaged, and police said 150 people in the town had been killed. I would double-check this figure. If 90 percent of the houses in Bhuj collapsed and only 150 people died, they must only have a population of 151. There is no place in India has a population of less than a million.

In Ahmedabad, a city of 7 million people, as many as 50 multi-story buildings had collapsed. Hundreds of people besieged the fire station asking for help to dig their relatives out of the collapsed buildings, said fire chief Rajesh Bhat. Police in Gujarat's commercial center of Ahmedabad reported at least 200 dead at it isn't noon yet.

``This is an emergency. We are facing a riotous crowd,'' the police said. ``A fear psychosis is developing in the city. People have fled their homes and are taking refuge in open fields.''

I hate to say it, but my spider sense is tingling.
6:33pm 01/26/01 over 2,000 dead....and counting.

same difference

India The Land of Death.
God Hates You and I Can Prove it!

Has Letterman Changed How We View India?
India will always be known as the "tragedy capital" of the solar system.

India's Newest Threat, Marauding Monkeys! God Has Just Too Many Tools!
He summoned 10,000 monkeys from nowhere on your ass and you think you can win this?

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