RAW DOGMA written by Nkrumah Steward
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| Proof Outside Of The Bible For The Creationists Argument. Bird Eating Tarantulas! |
I might get down on creationist a lot but that is because it is so fun.
I have an open mind.
Today on the discovery channel I personally witnessed a modern day miracle that creationists are free to use on us “educated, atheist, God-hating, intolerant, self-righteous Nazi types” when we laugh at you for saying you can have science to back up your beliefs without actually ever bothering to apply the scientific method. So listen up.
If any of “my kind” approaches you in a debate over evolution and creationism, all you have to say to us is this…”Bird-Eating Tarantulas”. Once their eyes fall back into their heads, you can act like you are me and tell them that you were watching the Discovery Channel and they showed this Tarantula climbing up the side of a tree and hiding behind some leaves so it could eat unsuspecting birds that sleep in the trees.
I was like fuck that. That is proof of creationism.
What more do you need?
How the hell can you tell me that a tarantula evolved so that birds would be its preferred diet?
With all the shit on the ground that it could eat relatively easily, it found, through a process of elimination that it would be better off eating birds?
That shit had to be created.
That is crazy to me.
This is just as crazy as having a “whale-eating desert snake”, or an “Elephant-eating mouse”.
That shit just doesn’t fit.
I honestly want to hear a Darwinist explain away bird-eating Tarantulas.
How did natural selection allow something this fucked up to survive?
The first thing I thought of when I heard that it wanted to eat birds was “Damn, a retarded tarantula. Poor thing is going to starve to death.”
Then this hairy creature jumped out of the top branch of this tree down on a bird passing the tree wrestled it to the ground and ate it whole.
That shit ain’t right.
Yeah, that my friend, was created.
Now by who, that is another story. And whoever created it is either a very cruel creator or a very poor planner. I can get shit-eating bugs, now that is evolution, but bird-eating tarantulas is just too much. I swear to you, all of you creationists go to school the next day and look your biology teacher in the eye and say "if God didn’t create everything, how do you explain bird eating tarantulas?" and you will win hands down. You will look so smart to everyone in listening distance, you will get the pleasure of watching your educated, atheist, God-hating, intolerant, self-righteous Nazi biology professor stutter his way out of that one and if you are lucky, maybe the school's educated, atheist, God-hating, intolerant, self-righteous Nazi social worker will quit giving you such a hard time for you having sex with your first cousin. |
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