I am a human carnivore. If it doesn’t have meat in it, then it isn’t worth eating. I have no problem with eating meat. My girlfriend on the other hand, well she is a vegetarian. I am not in the least turned off by rumors of steroids and pesticides and other dangerous chemicals in my meat because I had an inability to associate a cow with the Whopper I got at Burger King. Hamburger is found in two ways, red in a package at the grocery store, or cooked on my plate at a restaurant.

Well with that said I was reading this article on a fucking five legged lamb in Clinton County in Iowa, and I started growing concerned. Then when this five-legged lamb was called the next biggest thing since Rudy the FUCKING TWO HEADED PIG I flew into a panic!

Wait a God damn minute.

Stay calm...breathe....

The article went on to say that they took this mutant lamb to the vet and he said that he had never seen anything like a lamb with five "working" legs. What am I eating? I asked myself. You see, you don’t need a lot of fancy words, expensive degrees or flaked out ex-hippies to make me think twice about how much meat I consume, just tell me that whatever they are feeding my meat is growing 2 heads on pigs, (and I hope to God those heads where both on the same side of that pig), five legs on a lamb and helped a chicken live 18 months without a head. Anything that powerful might affect the birth of my future children. I know it will. How else would you explain Steve Buscemi? Ok, humiliating sexual experiments during late night UFO abductions explain Steve Buscemi but if you aren’t into hard to believe shit like that then you can always blame the meat.

"We had the two front feet coming, and I could feel the head coming the right way, but I said to Joe, There's something else coming," " Kelly Sparks said the woman that helped give birth to this five-legged-lamb.

"The fifth leg doesn't normally touch the ground," Sparks said. "Except sometimes when he's running, it bounces and might get caught on something and trip him up."

They considered having the leg removed, but their veterinarian told them the cost would exceed the lamb’s value. Besides, the extra leg doesn't seem to be hurting him.

Several other Iowa farm animals have grabbed attention in recent years. Now with that information at my disposal I know that I will say with confidence “no more meat from Iowa.”

Rudy, a two-headed pig born on a farm near Edgewood in August 1997, savored the media spotlight before his 1998 death. He had been renamed Ditto by the Hollywood firm that bought him. A Buchanan County farmer's two-headed calf, Reflections, born in 1998, also gained some fame in the few days of its short life. You see this shit is more common than you think. I just thought you should know. 8BM.com: Everything you need to know, about everything you need to know about!