Damn, some old people have it rough. An 87-year old nursing home patient suffering from Alzheimer’s disease died after she was bitten 1,625 times by fire ants. Anyone that has ventured down south knows that fire ants aren’t anything to laugh at. I have been bitten by fire ants. I would rather have my stomach cut open and have a dog eat my innards out while I am still alive than get bitten by a fire ant again. They have been known to hunt down and kill household pets. All it takes is just one bite to fuck you up.

Here is their typical MO.
"They can and quickly do latch onto your flesh with barbed mandibles and sting repeatedly, pivoting in tiny circles until you, the victim can repel them or dies. The venom burns like a hot match and causes tiny blisters that persist for days if left untreated or for weeks of scratched or infected."

Over 1,600 bites on one person are unheard of. Usually after one bite you momentarily black out from the shock and pain, come to, scream, run like hell, get safely inside and then pass out again from the pain. To make it worse, apparently she lived after the attack long enough to have a fucking heart attack and die.

If what they say is true, that what goes around comes around, then this bitch had built up some seriously bad karma. Someone credible like the Newsweek or Time Magazine needs to do a biography on this woman so that none of us accidentally walk in her footsteps. The ant bites were on the right side of her chest, upper arm and part of her abdomen and back and appeared to have come over a period of time.

Ouch.

I don’t know much about Alzheimer’s disease but I thought it just made you forget names, faces, and how to get home. How can it make you forget how to scream and run your ass off when a fucking fire ant is on you? Alzheimer’s must be a bitch of a disease. I have a lot more respect for it now. We need to get more funding before I get that shit.

What I want to know is what attracted the fire ants in the first place? Was it a half empty glass of prune juice? Or was it a bowl of half eaten raisin bran? Or did they come specifically to fuck her up? That is what I would like to know. I know they weren’t building an Ant Hill in her room so they had to have had something draw them to her. Whatever it is I don’t want my grandmother getting any of that shit anymore. Remove it from the menu.   

The Florida Agency for Health Care Administration, which regulates nursing homes, said the center had satisfactory ratings on recent inspections. The mood there Thursday was quiet, with residents relaxed, sitting outdoors. Most of whom were armed with a can of raid and a whistle in case they spot a red ant. Others were simply introspective trying to come to grips that you must not ever get away with anything because Karma might just be the most efficiently run department God has going. That is, next to the department assigned to making my life as miserable as possible. Now those bad boys are professionals at what they do.