There is a serial dog killer on the loose in Utah. His mode of operation is among other things, tossing hot dogs filled with rodent poison into backyard’s which of course the dogs eat and then die painful deaths.
The local police believe these killings, although admittedly sick, are NOT random if that is of any comfort to all of us all-American dog owners. No this sick bastard only kills dogs that bark.
This serial killer has killed 16 dogs since 1993, 5 in the past four months, all within a block of Julie Eldridge’s home, whom herself has seen all of her family’s golden retrievers fall at the hot dogs of this very deliberate killer.
The neighborhood is pretty confident who the killer is in this small community near Salt Lake City. He is a fat bastard who does not care for animals that walk on all fours, particularly barking dogs and children that laugh.
"So I think this concerns everyone, not just the dog lovers," Eldridge said. "There's something seriously wrong with the dynamics of this neighborhood." We couldn’t agree with you more.
Although her dogs keep continuing to get killed by eating poisoned hot dogs, she and her family continue to save dogs from extermination at the pound, just to see them fucked up over and over again by the evil fat fuck at the end of the block. In a way, you could say they keep feeding his habit cause you know the dog will eventually bark, and then they will eventually meet death by tainted hotdog. Six months ago, after bringing home a 180-pound something or other, a computer printout was left at their home telling them that their dog would be found dead if he barked, Eldridge said.
Luckily they are training the 180-pound Grizz to only eat dog food that the Eldridges give him and to eschew hot dogs. As an extra precaution Grizz also has to be taken out of the neighborhood for exercise.
"What I worry the most about is the anger of my children," Eldridge said. "I can see it in their eyes. I'm worried about what their reaction would be if they lost the dog they've got now."
I say quit getting dogs out of the pound unless you want your kids to get used to pets dying. It isn’t fair to anyone, not the kids or the dog. You can lace Chuck Wagon with bleach just as easy as you can put poison in a hotdog. Obviously you are dealing with a sick fuck, so the only way to deal with someone sick is to get on his level. This is not the time to take the moral high road. This is the point in social evolution where one should realize that they are dealing with a ill person and do what we should do to all ill people, gather a mob like in the old horror films, I am talking with torches and everything, drive him out of his home, beat him down like they did Richard Ramirez when they recognized him from a wanted poster in that shopping center parking lot, and then tie him to a huge bell in a gothic church tower and make him ring that shit for about 30 years. The problem with stuffing him in a furnace and burning him alive is that he might come back in 10 years and terrorize the children on the block in their dreams. And you can’t drown him in the lake, cause he will come out of that bitch and choke slam everybody dead on the anniversary of his death for the next 20 years. No, I think the best bet is just a simple ass kicking binding him to a huge bell. I know what you are thinking...man this kid must be a genius. I don't mean to brag but I came up with that bell part all by myself, just now. |
