Reuters is reporting that dozens of residents in a suburb of New Delhi reported being attacked by an “ape-like” creature and that after it attacked his victims it escaped by leaping from roof to roof last week. Although the Indian Police officially have no clue what the fuck this is, I can’t believe that they are ever caught off guard by things like this.

Hell, to an Indian cop what the fuck is a monkey-man?

An industrial worker actually leapt to his death from his apartment building the week after being awoken by cries that the “monkey man” was attacking.

This comes on the heels of relative calm that the good people of India were enjoying since God hit them with the earthquake a few months back that killed like 28,000.

My guess is that God was just giving them time to repopulate before he introduced his next trick.

Many people in New Delhi have elected to spend their nights in the streets with sticks waiting for the roof hopping attacker. All in all police tallied 65 reports of people who were broad sided by this mysterious attacker with a monkey face and a human body scratching and biting them in unprovoked attacks.

There are a number of monkeys running wild in New Delhi and on the outskirts of the city which sometimes pounce on unsuspecting pedestrians or enter houses but apparently this muh-fuka ain't one of them.