RAW DOGMA written by Nkrumah Steward
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| Man sues nightclub claiming he was knocked out by dancer's breasts |
 The Tampa Tribune is reporting that a man is suing a local nightclub because he was knocked unconscious by a Tawny Peaks oversized fake tit when she slammed it up against the back of his head.
HaHahaHahAhahahaHahaHAhahahahaha
ok…whew…remember to breathe.
I am laughing because I know for a fact that at bachelor parties these dancers have a free ticket to kick ass. I believe this guy. I think he did get knocked the fuck out. For one, I have seen Tawny’s tits. And two, I am on to these dancers and what they do to guys at these parties. I am just laughing because he unlike the other half a million guys that will be assaulted this year in the name of “celebrating” leaving the single life, he was too much of a pussy to just grin and bear it.
He claims that at his bachelor’s party he was asked to sit in a low chair, rest his head on the back and close his eyes.
That was the setup.
That is when he claims that it felt like “two cement blocks hit me. I saw stars. I've never been right since." the newspaper quoted plaintiff Paul Shimkonis as saying.
"Apparently she jumped up and slammed her breasts on my head and just about knocked me out," said Shimkonis.
The lawsuit said Tawny Peaks danced in front of him, and without warning or consent "jumped on the plaintiff forcing her very large breasts into his face causing his head to jerk backward."
Shimkonis suffered head, neck and other injuries that caused bodily injury, disability, pain and suffering, disfigurement, mental anguish and loss of capacity for the enjoyment of life, the suit said.
"It's so embarrassing," Shimkonis told the newspaper. "This is no joke. I'm dead serious. This really happened."
As a man who has recently invested in an engagement ring and as a man who has attended bachelor parties and witnessed the level of physical abuse these dancers actually put on these poor guys I sympathize with him. Hell, I saw four chicks beat the shit out of my friend at his bachelor party so bad a part of me wanted to pick up the steel folding chair I was sitting in and give one of these babes a friggin WWF chair shot.
When my friend was holding me back and talking me into putting down the folding chair he told me that they were kicking his ass because they are “acting” like they were angry that he isn’t going to be single anymore.
He is telling me this while I am watching two girls form a human seesaw on his shoulders and rock back and forth. You’ve got to understand that my friend weighed all of 130 pounds after not shitting for a week.
Then after the seesaw thing was over I knew they had totally fucked up his back. I had to witness him lose what dignity he had left as his fucking eyes started watering from pain when this big bitch started slamming down on him with her big ass on his lap while holding on to the back of the chair he was sitting in for leverage.
He was looking over at us like a puppy as it watches you leave him in a cage at the humane society.
That shit wasn’t funny. What had we done?
I said right there that I would be damn if I come within 150 feet of a stripper at my bachelors party. Fuck that I don’t even want one.
I felt helpless because it was more like watching an initiation into the Crips or Bloods than it was “fun.”
But you see that is when all that socialized machismo shit kicks in. As a guy, you can’t admit that you just got your ass kicked by 3 women and they know it.
So we all just sit around and watch him get beat up and act like it was fun and hope to God that they don’t bring us here when we get hitched.
I mean if these women really want to celebrate a man getting married why don’t they give him a Bon voyage blow job. Now that would be something he would remember because most likely since he is getting married that will be the last one he will ever get. |
