This is what you do to a child once you name him Goober. I don't care even if it is just an affectionate nickname. This should constitute as child abuse. He is totally fucked after that. He will forever be able to categorize his life in two very distinct periods, the pre-Goober and the post-Goober. The pre-Goober child could have been anything he wanted. An Astronaut, a fireman, a doctor the sky was the limit. The post-Goober kid had no chance of being anything more than an ex-SPED with a drinking problem and a few felony animal sexual abuse convictions under his belt.

Ronald Joseph Clark, affectionately known as "Goober" broke into a home in Knoxville, Tennessee and didn't leave until he slashed up the furniture with knives and thrusting a butcher knife into a computer monitor after not finding any valuable jewelry because "he knew they were rich," the police said. Goober also beheaded a stuffed ring-necked pheasant in the house because "he didn't like chickens." Officers that had arrived on the scene said that it had looked like "the Manson family" had been there. While Goober was inside of the house he had dumped thousands of dollars' worth of fishing equipment from a backpack and began filling it with a valuable knife collection, compact discs, jewelry and money. After filling the backpack, Goober went into a rage and using the pilfered knives, Goober slashed paintings and furniture throughout the house.

Damage inside the house was estimated at more than $20,000.

Police said Goober carried the backpack to another nearby home, where he smashed a window. But the residents were home, and he fled when he heard them. He also dropped the backpack stuffed with stolen items in their yard, police said.

Police said they saw Goober "stumbling along the road," stopped to question him and discovered some knives and money taken from the burgled home.

As the police questioned Goober, the owner of the burglarized home drove up and began identifying his belongings before he realized his home had been robbed, police said.