I haven’t felt this bad for someone since that woman got boob implants in each one of her butt cheeks. Mark Sims, an exotic dancer in Ottawa, filed a lawsuit today with the Ottawa Civic Hospital because when he came into the hospital one of his nuts had swollen as a big as a baseball after he got into a spat with another homosexual at the club where he worked.

Mark claims that they removed his testicle after they misdiagnosed it for cancer. Well damn what do you expect. I have been kicked in the nuts before and my shit never grew as big as a baseball. Maybe Mark had big nuts to begin with but if he did he needed to have informed the doctors of that fact before they told him that they had to cut his shit off.  I know what they were thinking. Here is this obviously effeminate man coming into the office with nuts like a gorilla and complaining about it. Hell, Cancer was probably their best guess. They took one look at his shit and new it wasn’t good and since none of them had ever had their balls swell up like that they decided to cut his shit off to be on the safe side. We are only human. I doubt they had ever see anything like that in their text books in school.

According to the lawsuit, the blood test revealed no tumor markers that would indicate cancer, but based on the ultrasound results, Mr. Sims was told he had testicular cancer. He was then referred to urologist Dr. Carl Leahy and given another ultrasound of his abdomen to see if the cancer had spread beyond his testicle.

Mr. Sims claims Dr. Leahy told him a biopsy was not possible and that surgical removal of the testicle -- a procedure called a radical orchidectomy -- was his only option.

Mr. Sims agreed to the surgery. Three days before Christmas, Dr. Leahy removed Mr. Sims' right testicle, leaving a 15-centimetre scar over his groin. But a pathology report conducted after the surgery showed no cancerous malignancy, the lawsuit claims. Instead, the report noted an area of hemorrhage and a formation of hematoma (bruising).

In his lawsuit, Mr. Sims accuses the doctor of negligently relying upon the ultrasound test, the least reliable tool to detect malignancy, when he confirmed the cancer diagnosis. He also alleges that the doctor ignored the negative result of the blood test and discounted the "significant blow" to the area.

If I was the doctor, I would counter-sue saying that if he knew it was swollen why did he agree to have his shit cut off without much of a fight? I would also say obviously Mark didn’t stress just how “significant” of a blow it was that he took to the nuts, otherwise maybe the doctor would have given him a few days and a ice pack before he chopped them off. I still feel for the guy, damn.