NASA's orbiting Chandra X-ray Observatory has discovered an alien base on Jupiter, but they are reluctant to call a spade a spade.
Distant pulsars and black holes often blast the galaxy with tons of radiation.
However the giga watt of x-rays recently discovered by the Chandra observatory weren't coming from a pulsar or a black hole. No, the pulse which is so regular that you can set a watch to it (every 45 minutes) is coming from the north pole of Jupiter.
Yes, you read that correctly. Every 45 minutes an x-ray source blinks near Jupiter's north magnetic pole.
What else do you need to know?
Fuck, Darth Vader destroyed entire star systems looking for rebels with less information than that.
Apparently NASA's Einstein x-ray satellite first spotted this shit in 1979 but they didn't think anything of it. That is until they looked again in 1992 to find that the glow was still there.
Now they are intrigued.
Thanks fuckers. Nothing like giving a hostile alien race a 13 year jump on us.
The "official" explanation is that this x-ray is like our "northern lights" only about hundreds of thousands of times more powerful than ours.
They will say anything short of "it's an alien base" to satisfy the public. Let's see what they say when whatever those alien bastards are building up there is fully operational and they come looking for our women.
"The 45-minute pulsations are very mysterious," adds Ron Elsner, an x-ray astronomer at the NASA Marshall Space Flight Center. "They're not perfectly regular like a signal from E.T. might be; the period drifts back and forth by a few percents.”
Oh, ok excuse me, it’s off a few percentage points.
"This is a natural process," he adds, "We just don't know what it is...."
Yeah, right.
Here is the problem, our first line of defense doesn't believe aliens are even out there. So since it isn't even a possibility to them that this is an alien factory manufacturing weapons of mass destruction, we have to keep being fed this "northern lights, weather balloon reflecting off swamp gas" bullshit.
The only people up in arms over this are the geeks and they don't listen to us anyway.
Like I said, this shit gets me so frustrated I wish I could choke them through the teleprompter like Vader did in Empire Strikes Back when I hear them on television.
Swamp gas my ass.
I've done my part. Get ready. It’s every man for himself.
NASA's orbiting Chandra X-ray Observatory has discovered an alien base on Jupiter, but they are reluctant to call a spade a spade.
