Texas
Man survives 3 hours after being cut in half in freak accident
A man who witnessed the 18-wheeler accident says: "I couldn't
believe it. If you're cut in half, wouldn't you die instantly?"
Apparently not. |
Man
Drowns After Falling Into Cat Bowl
Even with all of his physical problems
considered...drowning in a water dish is still pretty lou.
|
Man
Thrown to Death From Roller
coaster Ride
Brings
Back Painful Memories
Fuck Roller
coasters. |
Amusement
Park Worker Killed By Roller Coaster On Test Run
Wilfredo
was the third person killed in 22 months by a ride at Lake Compounce. |
Family's
Roof Collapses 'Under Weight of 15 Years of Pigeon Shit'
I
have seen pigeon shit. I have seen duck shit. I have seen Geese
shit. Goose shit is indistinguishable from human excrement.
Pigeon shit bringing a roof down? I am not sure. |
Missing
Spacecraft 'Could Take Weeks to Track Down' If It's Even Still
In Our Dimension
Don't be surprised if some archeological
dig finds a 2 million year old Russian prototype spacecraft
in the next few years that some primitive culture had been worshipping
as a God. |
Dad
Shoots Daughter, 13, in Groin While Teaching her about gun safety
Guns
don't shoot kids, people do? People may shoot kids, but guns
with safety levers that don't work don't help the situation.
|
Woman
Accidentally Glues Eye Shut.
What I want to know is how did the eye drops get so close to the super glue? |
Woman
Falls Into Shock When She finds a Condom in her Chili
Once he realized that he was holding
the condom in full view of the security cameras he ordered an
employee to toss the chili and the condom in the dumpster out
back and had the video tapes of that afternoon destroyed.
|
Elderly
Woman Killed By Street Sweeper Going 2 mph
God Dammit, I walk at 4 mph. |
Fire
in illegal Club kills 25 in Peru
the staff had a reputation for doing
this neat little trick where they would douse ashtrays that
sat on top of the bar with gasoline to set them aflame. |
Woman's
Head Goes "Poof" When Spell To Get Beau Back Goes
Terribly Wrong.
Delia suffered second degree burns to
her face, head and was vowing revenge while listed in stable
condition last time I checked. |
Teen
is critical after suffering heart attack at haunted house
Up until now the Lions have run the
haunted house at Fourth and Post Street for 18 years without
incidents more serious than sprained ankles. |
Man
Kills Roommate with gun loaded with Cigarette Butts
Who needs bullets? Guns will find a way
to serve their purpose which is to fuck you up. |
Man
Gets Toothbrush Stuck Up His Ass Trying To Rub Off His hemorrhoid
He wasn't just going to rub it from the
outside, he was taking it to the source. |
To
make a show stopping finale, man explodes fireworks in his face!
"It happened All Very Quickly," No Shit. |
Teen
Shoots himself playing Russian roulette Alone
It kind of defeats the purpose to
play Russian roulette alone because eventually you will
get to the chamber with the bullet in it. |
Cop's
Gun Goes Off During Show-and-Tell
That is side-kick shit. Any bad guy worth
his foreign accent would fuck you up if you only removed the
magazine. |
Disabled
Girl Killed by Milk Truck While Crawling Across Driveway
when you live like the Amish introducing
a gasoline powered vehicle into their world is like introducing
a new species into an ecosystem where it has no natural enemies. |
Woman
Survives 34-Hours Submerged in A Bog
Personally, I have this thing about
drowning. I have done everything in my power throughout my life
to make sure that I don't drown short of the obvious, learning
how to swim. |
