8bm.com: news commentary and opinion

Get Off Jill Carroll’s Back Already

Fri, 7 Apr 2006 20:40:43 -0400

I don’t know, literally having armed men with loaded assault rifles standing behind you while your are making a statement has a way of undermining the credibility of what you are saying, at least to me.
But I am funny like that.

Delay: There is a War in America against Christianity

Fri, 7 Apr 2006 15:11:26 -0400

How can there be a “war” against Christianity in an overwhelmingly Christian nation unless it’s between different warring factions of Christians?

Bush Approval Rating Hits A New New Low

Mon, 8 May 2006 13:24:58 -0400

Whenever things look really bad you can always count on coincidence to explain things away.

Was J. Edgar Hoover really gay?

Mon, 8 May 2006 13:24:13 -0400

Hmmmm…
No big deal right?
Who are you kidding?

Bin Laden again shows he has no understanding of civil liberties

Wed, 10 May 2006 13:23:27 -0400

He is so unapologetically self-serving and ethnocentric in his thinking that he can’t help but live out the rest of his days in a cave.
At least now he is literally living where he has figuratively been all of his adult life.

Another Piece of Evidence that Suggest Gays Are Born

Wed, 10 May 2006 13:22:43 -0400

The same group that showed a year ago that gay men had similar brain responses to hormones as heterosexual women has now shown that lesbian brains react differently to sex hormones than those of heterosexual women.
In fact, they react a lot like heterosexual men.
Once again, let’s hear it for science stating the obvious.

Could you live in a cave…

Thu, 11 May 2006 13:21:44 -0400

Even if heaven is nothing more than togas, grapes, harps and chariot rides it sure beats the hell out of walking with Neanderthals.

UK Government Report Says No Evidence of Aliens Exists

Thu, 11 May 2006 13:20:56 -0400

Well if plasma fields are related this all of this, then I guess you just inadvertently discovered what kind of ray gun these aliens are zapping people with when they render them helpless before they carry them off into their ships.
Plasma ray guns.

Man Given A Bill For failed Suicide Attempt

Mon, 15 May 2006 13:20:01 -0400

Anyway, to make a long story short a German court is making the guy who leapt into the side of the train with his face pay for the damage his head did to the train as well as the lost wages of the train conductor.

Karl Rove: At least Bush is still likeable, right?

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 13:19:13 -0400

Karl Rove also referred to these mysterious “likeability polls” today when he mentioned almost in passing, Bush’s likeability ratings are far higher than his approval ratings.
As usual, he was lying.

Another Reason It Sucks To Be In The Military

Wed, 17 May 2006 13:18:15 -0400

Evidently human beings can only see so many bad ideas before “bad” starts to become relative to the other bad ideas and pretty soon, bad ideas that aren’t as bad as others actually start to sound like good ideas.

Baghdad ER

Wed, 7 Jun 2006 13:17:29 -0400

“You don’t expect that the person getting killed or wounded in combat is going to be you.”
That, in a nutshell, is the difference between those who voluntarily enlist for military service and people like me.

The Sun Is Going Away, But Don't Panic

Wed, 7 Jun 2006 13:16:47 -0400

Once again, this is the kind of a stuff that would be racist, if it weren’t true.

God Fails To Save Idiot From Lion, sez “I don’t repeat my Miracles”

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 13:15:47 -0400

Note to Jesus Freaks out there, don’t ask God to step in from you slicing your son’s throat (Abraham), keeping you alive if you get swallowed whole by a whale (Jonah) or stop wild lions from mauling you to death if you ever find yourself inside of a lions den (Daniel). He's been there and done that.

Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi Dead But Surprisingly Still In One Piece

Fri, 9 Jun 2006 13:15:03 -0400

He had a spiritual advisor? That’s funny. I guess Lucas was right. With every Sith Lord there is a master and an apprentice.

Season Finale of FOX’s 24, Thank GOD

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 13:13:55 -0400

Good lord. If I have ever watched something more gimmicky than 24 and it didn’t involve Giant Robots fighting Monsters from Planet Gargoyle hell bent on destroying Tokyo I would like to know what it was.

Pakistani Woman Beheads Husband Over Fourth Wife

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 13:13:08 -0400

I think when you cheat on your wife or your husband you forfeit your life over to them. It is no longer yours. It is theirs to do with as they wish.
So it is written, so shall it be done.

Islamic fundamentalists Set Off 30 Bombs In Thailand

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 13:12:12 -0400

A heavy conscience to a human being is simply just a reflection of an inability on his part to use a little imagination.

Hawking Gives Us Another Depressing Prediction

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 13:11:12 -0400

Eventually people stopped pushing virgins into volcanoes to make the sun rise each day didn’t they?
I am not saying that change comes quickly, but it does come.

Oh so that’s why??

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 13:10:28 -0400

If 11 million illegal Mexicans can come into this country to pick apples and be short order cooks and can afford a $350,000 home practically the day they hop the fence into Texas, somewhere my life went terribly wrong.

HIV Positive Woman Sentenced For Infecting Suspecting Men

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 13:09:23 -0400

Personally, I would be suspicious of any woman who was insisting on me not to wear a condom, that’s supposed to be my job.

Indian Men Pimping Their Wives Now…

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 13:08:44 -0400

I’d be damn if I let my father pick my wife. If it was up to him I’d be married to nurse by day/vigilante by night named Coffy.

PGH - No more Defective Genes No more Defective Kids

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 13:07:46 -0400

All PGH needs to work is to take a single cell from the embryo. What a small price to pay for making sure your kid doesn’t come out with 2 heads.

Kate Beckinsale can squirt milk from her breasts clear across a room

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 13:06:55 -0400

I can see how playing Wonder Woman could embarrass your daughter, but how could telling the world that you’ve stood around trying to see how far you can squirt breast milk out of your tits NOT be more embarrassing?

Another African Nation Mutilating Girls For Their Own Good

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 13:06:06 -0400

I bet there are a whole lot of ugly titties in Cameroon.

Iraqi Prime Minister Doesn’t Support Israel, duh?

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 13:05:09 -0400

We need to be careful because we told the world that Iraq wasn’t going to be our newest puppet government but when we act like Maliki broke a carton of eggs when he didn’t follow the script, then what kind of message are we sending?

It Would Be Nice If Republicans Came Clean Before The Were Elected

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 13:04:00 -0400

Maybe we didn’t have the value of taking American Jobs and sending them overseas to China and India to increase our profit margin we could fight crime, drugs, alcohol abuse and teenage pregnancies? Maybe that’s the key, huh? Could that have been one of those lost American values he might have been telling us about?

rage infected Rats Again…for real this time

Tue, 1 Aug 2006 12:57:43 -0400

On the other side of the room however, is another strain of rats, and these rats are so violent, angry and evil that they actually hurl themselves screaming at the bars of their cages at the sight of a human being. They mangle their mouths bloody trying to bite through their cages to get to you.

Jesus Freak Science: Sexual Lyrics In Song Make Kids Have Sex…

Mon, 7 Aug 2006 12:56:59 -0400

Forget about peer pressure, self-esteem and home environment. Nelly lyrics have more of an influence on whether a kid has sex than his self-esteem or peer pressure.

Big Tit Doing Its Job Sparks Puritanical Outrage

Mon, 7 Aug 2006 12:56:16 -0400

Is it possible that we as a society have actually forgotten what female breasts are for?

Convicted Rapists Gets Pass From Prison Because He is Too Short

Tue, 8 Aug 2006 12:55:27 -0400

Fact: Prison is dangerous. I always figured that was the point.

An Eye for an Eye, literally

Tue, 8 Aug 2006 12:54:49 -0400

When God said “Thou shall not kill” he should’ve known that those of us infected with whatever possesses us to get into a war of semantics every time we hear a word would have a field day on what God must’ve thought was a rather straight forward sentence.

4 Out Of 5 Head Lice Are Immune To Scalp Poison

Wed, 9 Aug 2006 12:53:53 -0400

Nothing living should ever be indestructible. Evolution should never be that damn efficient.

South African Government Now Taking Issue with Bottled Water

Wed, 9 Aug 2006 12:53:09 -0400

It must be nice living in paradise.
I have no doubt that this must be what government is like in Heaven.
Human beings are going to find something to complain about because deep down we are never happy.

Titty Nazi Strike Again Banning Cleavage in Texas School

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 12:52:23 -0400

The fact of the matter is that when a society has to resort to things like this you know that as a society they have all but abandoned advocating personal responsibility.

What is Happening to Paul McCartney is my Second Biggest Fear

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 12:51:38 -0400

Personally, I don’t blame him for being petty. Be petty Paul. She lied to you.
Just do me a favor and stay away from Berretta or Orenthal. They might know what your going through but you don’t need that kind of advice right now because you might just listen to it.

Five Indians Die Attempting to Save A Pigeon

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 12:50:49 -0400

Now am I such a bad person because I wouldn’t even think once about following a pigeon into a well?
Then again, I am not so desperate to bolster up my sagging karma stock.

The price of gas

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 12:49:53 -0400

My question is, why is it that gas prices go up when Hezbollah is warring with Israel? To the best of my knowledge neither Hezbollah or Israel are bombing any oil fields.

Turkey is the only European country that has fewer people that believe in evolution than the US

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 12:48:58 -0400

Out of 32 European countries the only European country that has fewer people that believe in evolution than the US is Turkey. That’s it.

Is Cyclopamine responsible for This Cyclops?

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 12:48:16 -0400

It kinda sorta makes you really wonder how these pharmaceutical companies come up with the names of these drugs doesn’t it?

Infidel Texts Banned In Kentucky Schools, again

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 12:47:23 -0400

Who is going to be in charge now of deciding what is infidel text and what isn’t? Can I have that job? Or is that position only open to Jesus Freaks?

Who Hasn’t Had Sex In Public?

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 12:46:29 -0400

Who hasn’t had sex in a public place, in some secluded area where they couldn’t get caught? C’mon. That is a sex offender? That is who you want going to prison? That is who you wrote the law for?

More and More Women Going to Jamaica for “Black Bamboo”

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 12:46:00 -0400

For every one Lindsay Lohan that is traveling 10,000 miles for the black bamboo, there are 500 Rosanne Barrs that beat her to it.

27,000 Years Later, Woolly Mammoths May Again Roam The Earth

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 12:44:48 -0400

If I were trapped in a block of ice you couldn’t just thaw me out after 5,000 years and I would start wiggling around on the table, but apparently my sperm would.

Hajji Girl Leads To More "Misunderstood Marines"

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 12:43:57 -0400

Call them a hero, call them a patriot even if you want, but it really would be wasted on Fowlers because if they weren’t killing for their country they would be still dragging cats by the bumpers of their pick up trucks.
Please tell me it takes more to being a hero than that.

US Companies Support Censorship For A Buck

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 12:43:04 -0400

If Mumm-Ra wanted software to help him keep track of all of his various incarnations, Microsoft would write him some.

When in doubt if a family is a family… ask the City

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 10:47:19 -0400

If the law reminds us of anything, its that real life is often more complicated than the laws meant to govern us.

Well At Least They Used Their Powers For Good

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 10:45:18 -0400

A husband and wife are being charged with multiple counts of eating human flesh in order to become more powerful witches.

Federal Courts Refuse To Acknowledge King Bush’s Sovereignty

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 10:43:17 -0400

Bush said "critics of the program do not understand the nature of the world in which we live."
I don’t think Bush was talking about terrorism. I think he is talking about himself and his monarchy.

kwame kilpatrick and george bush are lessons learned?

Wed, 9 Nov 2005 10:49:32 -0400

Is there anything else these two have in common besides winning reelection despite their first terms being the best argument anyone could make against them being qualified for a second?
I believe so.

The Sweet Science of Titties

Tue, 8 Nov 2005 10:48:34 -0400

Atlantians knew that there was nothing sexy about Chimpanzee titties or Chimpanzee teeth. But teeth are functional, titties are cosmetic. There was a tremendous upside there and they took advantage of it.

Clinton only offered 40 goats for Chelsea

Sat, 3 Jun 2006 10:47:48 -0400

Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor wrote a letter to Bill Clinton and offered him 40 goats and 20 cows for Chelsea’s hand in marriage.

Real life Super-villain The Hypno-robber strikes again

Mon, 7 Nov 2005 10:46:52 -0400

This is barely even Pravda news, and you know and I know that Pravda will print anything

sex in space, again a huge concern for NASA

Wed, 2 Nov 2005 10:45:48 -0400

If otherwise straight men can’t stop fucking each other when they go into prison for six months, then why would I allow myself to be shocked that a co-ed crew on a 30 month mission to Mars wouldn’t end up in an all out orgy?

louis farrakhan says government conspiracy flooded new orleans

Wed, 2 Nov 2005 10:44:28 -0400

"He didn't say there was a bomb. He just said there was a crater." Farrakhan then added: "I say they blew it [up]."

anti-rape condom controversial??

Tue, 1 Nov 2005 10:43:16 -0400

The last thing on a guys mind who is bleeding all over the place because his dick is caught in a barbwire condom is beating the girl up.
Besides, What’s the alternative, just lay there and let him rape you? Why are we concerned about his dick, his feelings or his self-esteem under these circumstances?

No "morning after" pill for rape victim

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 10:42:03 -0400

"I can’t tell you how many news stories I come across in the news of American women trying to buy a prescription of the morning after pill only to be refused by a pharmacist who refused to sell her the pills because of the pharmacist’s religious and moral objections."

Nigerian E-mail Scammers Speak: I Will Eat Your Dollars

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 08:39:13 -0400

See where your greed gets you? An ulcer, as you are being threatened by a 16 year old in a cyber café in Nigeria who has been trying to launder money for him into your bank account from his now jailed corrupt uncle in the Nigerian government.
That’s what you get.

'missing' penis sparks mob lynching

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 08:38:07 -0400

I’m guessing that when Sauron was learning how to become a dark lord, making genitalia disappear was not a spell that he spent much time on to beef up his repertoire.

When Neo-Nazi Meets Nickelodeon

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 08:33:51 -0400

And if there is any universal truth in this world, it is not “what goes up must come down”, the more you repress your daughters when they are kids the wilder they will be when they are adults.

Catfights on the rise in Boston for no apparent reason

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 08:32:33 -0400

In the Boston area, girl-on-girl fights have grown so intense that girls are even getting into the habit of caking their faces with Vaseline so that girl’s nails will slip off their faces and tying their tresses back so that girls can’t get a handful of hair on the way to school.

American Justice: Why Turd Blossom Won’t See Jail Time

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 08:31:38 -0400

In America, the power you get in politics is even more powerful than the power you get from having money.
Anyone can get money.

Guantanamo Abuse, Safe, Secure And Humane

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 08:30:50 -0400

So you say that you spent some time at Guantanamo Bay Cuba’s Camp X-Ray?
Well sucks to be you.

The Four Telltale Signs That You Are Possessed By The Devil

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 08:29:57 -0400

Finally I have something I can put in my back pocket so that I can be sure that I am dealing with the devil and not just some super strong, fire breathing telekinetic speaking in some dead Samarian language.

Mike Tyson To Make Porno Debut With Jenna Jameson

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 08:29:01 -0400

Getting excited to see Mike Tyson fucking, considering how masculine he is and what he is famous for is kinda gay when you think about it.
Not that there is anything wrong with being gay.
It's just kinda gay.

30,000 Confirmed Dead From 2005 Kashmir Earthquake

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 08:27:56 -0400

Just when Americans were starting to believe that God was shifting his attention away from India and towards the southeastern United States after both hurricane Rita and Katrina, think again.

Prison Riot Went On for 15 minutes leaving 42 injured

Sat, 3 Jun 2006 08:27:01 -0400

Only in prison can 70 whites attack 70 Hispanics and race have nothing to do with it. Maybe Toledo should take note of that.

Parricide In Minnesota Over skipping Church

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 08:25:53 -0400

Let’s just face it, sexual repression and Judeo-Christian religion goes together like caramel and milk chocolate.

Still Moving Backwards In Africa All By Themselves

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 08:24:41 -0400

Are we by nature good or evil? By nature, do we help others or do we harm others?

Germans Think They're Well-Hung - But They're Not

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 08:23:28 -0400

Whether or not having an elephant trunk in your pants or not gave women any perceptible added sexual pleasure during sex men would still want a donkey cock.

Bear Farmer Gets Eaten By Bears

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 08:14:13 -0400

China doesn’t give a damn about human rights. Its kinda hard to make a case to them about treating animals with the same respect that they treat human beings because they would argue that “we already do.”

Deadly Naegleria Amoeba Kills Two Kids In Tulsa

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 08:14:13 -0400

Only 200 people have even caught this thing in the last 40 years. And only 2 people have survived it.

Yoko Disses Paul…Again

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 08:14:13 -0400

Yoko is in no position to diss Paul. Yoko is no position to diss Right Said Fred, let alone Paul McCartney.

Police Arrest PETA Workers For Dumping Dead Animals

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 08:14:13 -0400

So much for hoping that by staring bizarre right in the face Newkirk would recognize herself.

Dubya Says Miers' Jesus Freak Beliefs Figured Into Her Court Nomination

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 08:14:12 -0400

If the constitution was as clear as conservatives want to tell the American people that it is then the Supreme Court wouldn’t have a friggin’ job.

Federal Judge Will Decide Once and For All if Intelligent Design Is Science

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 08:10:31 -0400

So in other words, they have no use for scientist, unless of course scientist tell them what they want to hear, which is the story of their lives.

the average samurai lived to be 19, while the average ninja lived to be 37

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 08:10:30 -0400

There is a lot to be said for being discreet.

Giant Squid Spotted Just Off Coast of Japan

Wed, 5 Oct 2005 08:09:26 -0400

A giant 26 foot long squid was recently caught on film attacking Tokyo. Oops. Sorry. I misread.

Florida’s Stand Your Ground Law Goes Into Effect

Wed, 5 Oct 2005 08:07:10 -0400

You looking at me? You looking at me?

So just how exaggerate were reports coming from New Orleans?

Mon, 3 Oct 2005 08:07:10 -0400

Maybe there was a racism angle to this story the whole time but the press just jumped on the wrong one.

Man Who Was Raped Daily In Prison Says Authorities Did Nothing

Mon, 3 Oct 2005 08:07:10 -0400

Maybe all he complained about in his letters was that he was fed up washing underwear and socks and how it is impossible to get his hair done properly with only the 15 minutes they are given to shower and wash every morning. Maybe. But I doubt it.

Revenge Of Anti-Terrorist, Toxic Dart Armed Dolphins

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 08:07:10 -0400

What good is an armed, trigger happy dolphin that doesn’t come when you call it?

Lions Eat 20 Ethiopian Villagers In A Single Week

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 08:01:26 -0400

I am a child of the 80s. The last time I saw an Ethiopian it was on a CARE commercial with a fly walking across her lips. A lion eating 20 Ethiopians would be the equilivlent of a lion eating half of an American.

Static Build Up In Man’s Clothing Makes Carpet Ignite

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 08:01:26 -0400

The only reason Superman exists is because his father discovered after 4 billion years of relative peace and tranquility on Krypton, that the entire planet, which had shown no signs of it being any different than any other celestial planet in the universe was going to simply “blow up”.

Guantanamo Interrogators Exchanging Personal Information for Intelligence

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 08:01:26 -0400

The abuse of the men being detained at Guantanamo has been widely reported all over the world. Its no secret. The US doesn’t even deny it. They just want to debate about or respectfully disagree with what the general consensus of civilized society constitutes as “abuse”.

A H5N1 Outbreak Could Kill 200,000 Americans in 90 days

Tue, 27 Sep 2005 08:01:26 -0400

As bad as it sounds I guess it can’t kill everybody right? Right? Well I guess technically it could.

Bill Clinton Global Initiative Project Collect 1.2 Billion

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 08:01:25 -0400

If Bush cares so much about the welfare and freedom of the Iraqi people let’s see if he takes one step into that place once he is out of office to see how all of his hard work has been making out.

Residents Protest Wal-Mart Store Because It May Attract Blacks

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 08:01:25 -0400

Refusing to recognize Martin Luther King Day must be like Pig Latin to a racist.

Ugly Woman Gambles Sister Lost

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 07:56:24 -0400

Well then the makers of the show realized that it would be too expensive and too time consuming to fix all of the shit that this woman had wrong with her, particularly her jaw, that was going to take too long to heal they decided to scrap the idea of putting her on the show entirely.

Pope Benedict XVI Greets Exorcist At Exorcist Convention

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 07:56:23 -0400

Doesn’t Pope Benedict XVI remind you of Senator Palpatine? I am tempted to put their pictures side by side to prove that there is a resemblance.

American Girls Suck A Lot Of Dick, But We Knew That

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 07:56:23 -0400

I will admit that you will get a lot of bogus information about sex out there on the streets, whoever said you have to get your sex education from the streets. Get it from cable television. I did.

Plague-infected lab mice escape bioterrorism research facility

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 07:56:23 -0400

So I know what you’re thinking, that doesn’t sound so bad? So basically the bubonic plague is the flu. Well not exactly.

Good Enough for a Horse Not Good Enough for a Human

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 07:56:22 -0400

"This was not murder. This was compassion. I had cancer patients who were in agony," One doctor was reported as saying.

XXX hardcore porn, daughter or mother

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 07:56:22 -0400

My daughter is a reflection of me. If she is having sex with midget circus clowns and Mexican donkeys then somehow, somewhere I failed her as a parent.

if homosexuals ruled the world

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 07:56:46 -0400

Well, I definitely wouldn’t be a flaming heterosexual in a world where homosexuality was the perceived majority.
Flaming brings ass kickings. I would try to avoid violence at all costs

new species of ferocious giant ape discovered in Congo

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 07:58:00 -0400

According to the “natives” in the area this ape has a particularly aggressive disposition. I do believe the word that they used was “ferocious” and that the natives had even witnessed them killing lions before.

Discovery of New Species of Human Screws with Human Evolution

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 07:57:59 -0400

This new creature Homo floresiensis aka “the Hobbit” is tossing a wrench into the wheel for evolutionist, creationist will just ignore it, but followers of Edgar Casey will embrace it.

Why Nefertiti Disappears from Historical record

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 07:58:42 -0400

When you think about it, what a terrible trade off that was. You’re born rich as hell, with God like powers to do anything you wish and the catch is that you have to fuck your family to keep the blood line pure.

Plot To Kill 50 Cent On Hold For Now

Fri, 9 Sep 2005 05:25:33 -0400

Ok, maybe Fiddy isn’t just paranoid.

Superman’s Cock Size Big Issue On Upcoming Film

Fri, 9 Sep 2005 05:24:54 -0400

Joel Schumacher must be involved in some capacity if people are actually paying someone to do nothing but adjust and readjust Superman’s package.

Japanese Text Books Still Prefer Disinformation Over Truth

Wed, 7 Sep 2005 07:19:09 -0400

America bringing the pain to Japan in retaliation for Pearl Harbor was just what the doctor ordered for Asia, as disintegrating 80,000 people in a matter of seconds has seemingly cured Japan of their warmongering habits.

NOI Calls Gang bangers for Jihad against LAPD

Tue, 6 Sep 2005 07:19:09 -0400

Maybe I am twisted, but what the fuck is holy and pure about getting beat up at a gang bangers funeral and then calling for all the neighborhood thugs to help you teach the police a lesson? Why do I need to go to a mosque for that kind of lesson? I could learn that on HBO.

On your mark, get set...Let the genocidal conspiracy theories begin

Mon, 5 Sep 2005 07:20:10 -0400

Kayne West would have been much more persuasive if he would have cited a source when he shouted out that the US government has been authorized to “kill us”, but as you know, who needs a source when you are preaching to the choir?

Moses was the product of incestuous inbreeding?

Mon, 5 Sep 2005 07:19:08 -0400

"And Amram took him Jochebed his father's sister to wife; and she bare him Aaron and Moses: and the years of the life of Amram were an hundred and thirty and seven years." (Exod 6:20)

If you had to save one of these unrepentant persons from certain death which would it be?

Fri, 2 Sep 2005 09:51:51 -0400

It still doesn’t mean that after I save him that I wouldn’t push him down a flight of stairs, backwards.

Katrina Did What Had To Be Done

Fri, 2 Sep 2005 09:51:01 -0400

As you know, I am not in this to win any popularity contests. I have one word for New Orleans…Move.

1 in 5 Americans believe Sun revolves around the Earth

Thu, 1 Sep 2005 07:50:03 -0400

So I take it even though they don’t understand what he is talking about when he refers to “DNA” they know that people that use big words like that are most likely going to hell.

Bush and his permanent vacation

Thu, 1 Sep 2005 07:49:38 -0400

According to the Washington Post, Dubya has taken 250 days off for vacation since August of 2003. That is 27% of his entire presidency.

Which one of God's deeds was the most unjust?

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 07:45:21 -0400

So with God’s permission Satan was allowed to go to town on him. Satan killed his wife and kids. Satan gave him herpes, the clap, killed off all of his livestock. Satan even had the bank foreclose on his home.

Aborigine used boomerang to subdue and rape his promised wife

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 07:44:30 -0400

Those people who act like we are just as Klingon as these people are, obviously have never been hit upside the head with a boomerang from 100 yards then sodomized you after he found you with a knot the size of an egg at the base of your skull, semi-conscious in the field where the boomerang laid you out.

Suge Knight Dodges Five Bullets Gets Hit With Sixth

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 01:31:43 -0400

Look, I am not gang banger, but I don’t see how someone could walk up to a table in the VIP room, standing 6 feet away from Suge’s big ass and miss him with five of six bullets.

Which natural disaster will you see in your lifetime?

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 01:31:42 -0400

The Asteroid is coming, don’t fool yourself, but between the chances of it missing us and the world pulling together to blow it out of the sky. I am confident that this will happen shortly after I croak.

If you had to spend the rest of your life doing the same thing over and over what would it be

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 01:31:41 -0400

This one was a no brainer for me.

Would you convict someone of murder if you were convinced that they believed that God had instructed them to kill.

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 01:31:40 -0400

God told al-Qaeda to fly planes into the World Trade Center. God killed all the first born children in Egypt, and he couldn’t care less that these children had absolutely nothing to do with Pharaoh and his negotiations with the labor union. God seems to believe in the persuasiveness of collateral damage.

If there is a soul do you think science will eventually find evidence of it?

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 01:31:39 -0400

I believe that all “miracles” have a commonsensical explanation to them, it’s just that we don’t know what they are, yet.

If life as we know it is being threatened by an inescapable natural catastrophe is government obligated to warn us?

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 01:32:30 -0400

I know I sound like a defeatist but, if it’s inescapable what’s the point, total societal collapse is a bad thing so leave us blissfully ignorant.

Are you still a virgin if you have only had anal or oral sex?

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 07:15:20 -0400

I am not about to sit here and call a girl that has sucked 20 cocks a virgin, I’m sorry.

If true artificial intelligence could be achieved would unplugging the machine constitute murder?

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 07:14:29 -0400

I will grieve when it’s hard drive crashes. Then I will swear bloody revenge on mankind for killing the only friend that I've ever had, or something really cliche like that.

Girl Born Without A Face

Wed, 24 Aug 2005 07:13:28 -0400

Back in the day anything and everything could be explained away by either God liking you or God not liking you.

Pro Herpes Rabbis Pressure NY Mayor

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 07:11:57 -0400

This is a no brainer to me. As far as I am concerned this feeding women to volcanoes.

Catholic Church: “Why? Cuz I said So.”

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 07:11:07 -0400

Tom Monaghan of Dominos Pizza fame said “Catholics just don’t understand their faith. They don’t understand why the church has the authority to tell them that they have to do this or they can’t do that…this should be a benevolent monarchy, not democracy. The Church in one sense is a military organization, just like the Marine Corps.”

SWYPBIEU Book Launch Party A Huge Success!!

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 07:10:23 -0400

Now that this is behind me I can concentrate again on what I love which is writing this site for you guys. I am back!!

Part 8: Building Character

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 07:52:44 -0400

Did I ever tell you about the time that I didn’t shit for an entire week? Well it’s true. I didn’t. And I didn’t do it out of protest. I did it for peace of mind.

True Creationism makes intelligent design actually seem intelligent

Fri, 5 Aug 2005 07:55:56 -0400

I see no conflict whatsoever with someone having a master’s degree in business administration and believing that Adam and Eve had a pet Velociraptor named Whisky.

Bully victims get their own school

Fri, 5 Aug 2005 07:55:16 -0400

To a bully, this place is going to be a better hang out than sitting in the basement and lifting weights all day.

Dubya says that Intelligent design should be taught in US schools

Fri, 5 Aug 2005 07:54:18 -0400

For the record, I am also against teaching how to cook an apple pie in Algebra as well as having kids doing push ups and running laps in AP Literature.

Woman Says She Punched Bear in the Nose, but it didn’t do shit.

Wed, 3 Aug 2005 23:43:09 -0400

I know what your thinking, PCP. That bear must’ve been on PCP. You keep believing that.

Mojo Jojo type monkeys threaten to wule da werld

Wed, 3 Aug 2005 23:40:14 -0400

When she called the authorities to come get the little bastard off her roof they showed up in white, hazmat type suits for their protection, sedated it and carted it off in a protective container.

What would you do for $10?

Wed, 3 Aug 2005 23:26:13 -0400

Just goes to show that when you are morally bankrupt it doesn’t cost much to purchase your services.

Homosexuality and the Samurai, all the proof you need that fags can kick ass

Wed, 3 Aug 2005 23:25:33 -0400

Arguably no civilization, except for the Ancient Greek, were more gay than the Japanese.

Jabberjaw Captured! Hanna Barbara Unavailable for Comment

Mon, 1 Aug 2005 07:15:26 -0400

Apparently Jabberjaw was picked up 100 miles off the coast of Martha’s Vineyard by fishermen participating in the annual Oak Bluffs Monster Shark Tournament they have there.

Mad Scientist Create A Girl...

Mon, 1 Aug 2005 07:14:22 -0400

Yes the sexuality of mad scientists is one of the few topics that have never been discussed with any depth here on this site, because up until now, it wasn’t an issue.

Sexually abused child stashed away in concrete block

Fri, 22 Jul 2005 08:58:45 -0400

Human beings rarely disappoint when seeking new and interesting ways to show you how low they can go.

Police discover the most Prolific Molester In U.S. History

Fri, 22 Jul 2005 08:58:05 -0400

Calling him the most prolific in U.S. history instead of the most prolific child molester in human history says more than I want to know about the kind of numbers you would have to put up to be in the pedophile hall of fame, not to mention the pedophile top 10.

Hollywood inadvertently proves just how gay it really is

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 23:48:41 -0400

I just think it is funny that they have no problem posting it across the front of their paper every time a leading lady has a miscarriage with photographs of her running out of the hospital in tears but they consider whether or not someone is gay “a private matter”.